Thursday, March 31, 2005

posted by schemer at 4:09 PM

3 Comments:

Blogger jax burgoyne said...

Hi,
I love The Sound and the Fury, so I liked the style of this prose - people could say it's not original, but it is, I think, less 'unoriginal' than writing in a realistic manner because that has been done far more...anyway. I think ways to improve it might be to make it a little more visual - some more things the guy randomly notices. Or, maybe could you, if it doesn't alter the way you want your character to 'speak' too much, get the character to make some references to things he feels e.g. rough seat or something...it just felt a little bit like a disembodied voice. That may have been what you intended, but I like to feel like I know the character/it is telling me something intimate, that others wouldn't know. (Some of this may not apply - I've only read the story once.)
I'd like more of it - the same character, or same two characters, in a new setting.

6:32 PM  
Blogger Edmund said...

Thanks Jax.

This feedback/critisize idea is great, love it. Email me ejgillingwater@yahoo.co.uk and I will email you more if that's what you'd really like, same character new place exists. I think your right about the visual thing, its just I get bored so quickly with descriptive stuff. See what I can do. I like the dissembodied voice, maybe the desrcription and feelings/intimacy should come from the other character,untill say chapter 5, chapters...one day. I've never really thought about these things. Thats the power of a strangers opinion, cheers.

6:08 PM  
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12:32 PM  

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